i do not care
I do not care where or when it first begins but I fear how it ends
in isolation
Section One: Diagnosis
I am in a blue chair
I am in a blue chair silent waiting watching as the drs computer keys click
CLICK
Click click click click click click click click click click click click.
THE DOCTOR BELIEVES
The doctor believes that within five years my central vision will be gone
my peripheral sight stays
My peripheral sight stays – when i cannot see straight i will see sideways
Section Two: What I Can Rarely See
Details
Details
Measure numbers
Sight gags
Edges
Mold on food
Cardinals in Trees
eye rolls
Eye rolls
Head nods
Shoulder shrugs
Smiles on backlit faces
Orange buoys
Section Three: What I Can Rarely Read
Cursive Handwriting
Cursive handwriting
House numbers
Street signs
Billboards
Book covers
Section Four: What I Can Rarely Do
Make Eye Contact
Make eye contact
Fill up a cup without spilling
Track a cursor
Drive my car
Recognize people
Recognize people
Catch a ball
Focus fast
Read quickly
Use hedge clippers
Signs
Colors are Wrong
Colors are wrong yellow looks pink green turns into gold and red vanishes
Sometimes An Image
Sometimes an image is a cluster of dots like standing too close to a Seurat
An Abundance of Objects
An abundance of objects overwhelms as chaotic cones and brain try to talk
Fast Flying words
Fast flying words images cars people products
the speed of life exhausts
When Seen Straight
When seen straight truth often does not dazzle or delight but disappears
In Too Bright Light
In too bright light pupils become soulless black balls
no I behind the eye
What Can You Say
What can you say to someone that might make sense?
I only see your absence?
Treatment
DONT PANIC
Dont panic
Never doubt yourself
Line up buoys
Trust straight strokes
Relinquish Control
Relinquish control
Embrace the discomfort of never knowing everything
Learn to SPEAK
Learn to speak into the darkness and imagine the audience you most desire